My Aliyah Journey

My life has followed a winding path to get to where I am now. Many moves, many adjustments, and two aliyah experiences. I came the first time to Israel as a young, single and idealist teenager, the second time around was as a family.

This is my story.

I was born and raised in Mexico. At the age of 19 I decided to make Aliyah all by myself. At 19 it was a thrilling and exciting experience. Everything in Israel was fascinating and intense. And I was on the fast track: met my husband, got married, had a baby, and soon after found myself living in the States.

In 1995, after nine years in Cleveland we packed our bags back to Israel. We were now 'returning Israelis' but our kids were by all means olim chadashim. Now, my husband and I had both lived in Israel, done the army, spoke the language… we knew what we were getting into, right?

Wrong! Coming back as a family of four was unexpectedly challenging.
Even though we thought we did everything right: a pilot trip, prepared our kids for the move, practiced Hebrew, etc., and yet, nothing could have prepared us for how our klitah (absorption) was going to unfold…

My daughter was 10 years old and my son was 5. She adapted almost immediately thanks to her outgoing personality and endless need to be the center of everything. My son, on the other hand, was quiet, introverted and shy. His gan (preschool) was literally a jungle, with constant screaming, fighting, running away, a total chaos. In an attempt to fit in, he began adopting the most disruptive and negative behaviors, as he figured it was the 'norm'. He was not adjusting, but merely adapting in order to survive in that environment. Needless to say, we were very upset about the changes in his behavior.

The cherry on top was that he started loosing his hair. After consulting specialists it became apparent that this was the result of the emotional stress.
We knew at that point that things needed to change and took charge of the situation. We provided a more supportive and holding environment, lots of hugs, reassurance, and made sure he felt loved and wanted at home. We also got a psychologist involved who encouraged us and provided guidance. He worked with the staff at his preschool educating them and teaching them how to deal more effectively with his behavior and encouraging respect and tolerance in the whole gan. Eventually things got better and my son returned to be a happy boy again.

The first few months in Israel were full of surprises:

Surprise # 1 – No matter how well you know your kids, they each will react differently to the changes.

Surprise # 2 – Everyone got sick at the beginning and caught every possible virus, eye and skin infections.

Surprise # 3 – You've got to be very involved, even pushy, and speak up. Don't assume anything. Trust yourself.

Surprise # 4 – Savlanut (patience) does pay off!

The struggles and ordeals of making Aliyah as a family raised many issues and put to the test our own values and principles, our marital relationship, our parenting, our beliefs. How much do we give up in order to fit in? How do you adjust without loosing yourself in the process?

There is a happy ending to our klitah experience. Because we felt very connected to Israel and secure in our decision to live here, we were able to cope with this major transition and a result our family became a strong unit. We reached a new sense of stability and security, improved communication, and well-being. Our third child was born into a happy and well adjusted family.

Today my children are true "sabras". They are very well integrated and 2 of them have joined the army. We have gone through incredible life cycles as a family, from births to deaths, army, college, and aliyah of grandparents.

We have learned to embrace our uniqueness, still speak different languages at home (Hebrew, English, Spanish), eat non-Israeli foods, and take great pride in our roots and our Israeli-ness as well.

 Sylvia Kassoff, M.A